The Herta Segs

Herta: Mommy Waifu Extraordinaire” in full, uncensored, “sweatier-than-a-sauna” glory!
KNOCK KNOCK, WHO. His “holy sword” stirs awake like a dragon that just smelled BBQ, and suddenly, it’s go time, something that involves moaning and a lot less armor. The Herta ain’t playin’ fair. The Herta (smirking, voice like melted caramel): “You look… thirsty.” MC (Sweating like a guy stranded in the middle of the city in mid-August.
The “Battle” Begins. Herta strikes a pose. “His ‘fighting spirit’? Now a throbbing determination.” She whispers some ASMR (“Do you like it~?”). The aura around his sword getting stronger. Herta’s ASMR moans hit like a subwoofer in a library, and MC? Bro’s creampie game outshines his credit score. Why this parody goes harder than a microwave burrito at 3 AM: Herta’s ASMR voice? Like a haunted toaster whispering sweet nothings, still weirdly hypnotic. MC’s “holy sword” awakening? More intense than the battle of black friday. The segs? Steamier than a Groupon for a sauna.